Alex Quinn's Japan Journal

On Sunday, I had one of the coolest experiences of my whole trip (if not the coolest). In short, I was the groom in a super-realistic mock wedding. Got married, played the piano, and gave a speech in Japanese. Excuse me if I go into unnecessary detail about this.

A little background

There is an adult speech class at a nearby culture center (basically, a community center where adults can take various classes). It's all Japanese people learning how to give speeches in Japanese. Probably a lot like Toastmasters in the United States. No connection to my school. No connection to English or anything foreign, except me of course. In order to give the students in the class a place to give speeches in a formal setting, they cooked up this mock wedding. I got married to a Japanese woman (a total stranger). The students, all dressed up, stood up and gave speeches or other performances.

They cooked up fictional profiles of me and the bride. My name is Richard Door. I'm an artist from New York. I majored in piano at Berkeley College Of Music. I like to eat yakiniku (grilled meat). My favorite color is blue. On and on. Same kind of stuff for the bride. We met 5 years ago while looking at a painting in a museum. Our first date was a trip to Korea to eat Korean grilled meat. Throughout the whole event, we stuck to the storyline strictly. To this day, I do not know the bride's real name and she doesn't know mine. She called me Richard throughout the whole thing. Her fictional name is Asuka Nishijima, and I used it throughout the whole thing.

The wedding ceremony

The wedding was held at a very fancy hotel, the Seashore Hotel in Mitsu town, maybe 10 miles or so from Aioi. Beautiful view of the sea. Oustanding service. I wore a white tuxedo rented from a bridal shop. The bride wore two dresses and did her hair up fancy. (She changed in the middle.) The hotel staff were very helpful with everything. As far as I could tell, they didn't know it was a fake. Music and the bride's dresses were western style. There were no vows or religious references.

So, after getting dressed, and figuring out how all the accessories fit together, I meet the bride for the very first time right at the door to the banquet area. "Nice to meet you. I'm your new husband." Then, the hotel guy starts giving us very detailed instructions about where to stand, how to walk, when to bow, when to wait, when to bow again, when to sit down, and so on and so forth. Right then, we went in. A roar of applause and flashing cameras from a crowd of about 150 people. It is quite a moment. (A little like an arranged marriage on steroids.)

Richard Door and Asuka Nishijima on the way in. This picture is a little blurry, but it's the only one with Asuka in the white dress. You can't see it in this pictures, but it was a huge wedding dress that trailed a good 6 feet behind her with lots of fluff and frill.

We do our little procession and then sit down at the head table. They introduce us each in detail, according to the storyline. We do a little candle procession, go around to all the tables, bowing every few seconds, and light a giant candle that sparkles like a sparkler (fireworks), all with this well prescribed manner, holding the torch together. We hold the torch there for a long time with people snapping photos at us as if we were movie stars. We sit down. Then, we do a ceremonial cutting of a wedding cake. (Actually, it was a fake cake with a little slot full of whipped cream which we cut into.) Like before, we hold the knife for a long time while people snap tons of pictures at us.

After some more formalities, they start bringing food. This place has top notch food - both delicious and beautiful to look at. I would have loved to eat it, but just then, I have to go play the piano. I play 3 tunes: The Song Is You (my standard opener), As Time Goes By (since I knew they'd recognize it), and Pennies From Heaven (a nice, brisk closer). Lots of applause. More than the response, it is really a wonderful playing experience to play a beautiful piano next to a window with the sea right next to me. The wedding aside, I'm sure I'll remember playing in such a beautiful place.

(Note: The person who took these pictures took a lot of pictures of me playing the piano. I think they're nice pictures, so I'll post them all, however vain it might appear at first glance.)

More formalities. Maybe a speech or two. Mostly people purporting to be our relatives or friends, giving speeches of congratulations and encouragement in our new life. A woman goes up and sings. Absolutely wonderful singer. Voice as clear as a bell. Then, a pianist. At one point, Asuka, the bride, leaves the room to change into her second dress. Later, a guy goes up and does some kind of funny traditional Japanese mime routine with a basket. Another speech or two in there somewhere. At one point, they ask us to do a second kanpai (cheers, klinking of glasses) and hold it for a minute so they can take lots of pictures.

A little note about the food. Everything outstanding. Salad with various greens and thinly sliced raw seafood. Tomato soup. Some kind of sorbet. A thick piece of fish (halibut?) with a nice chunky mushroom sauce. A very thick and tender steak. A plate with small portions of various kinds of dessert, including ice cream, a cookie, a slice of black sesame seed (kuro-goma) tart, some gelatin stuff with fruit, a piece of mousse tart, and maybe something else, too. Really nice.

At the end, we line up next to a wall. My father gives a speech. His first name is "Shutda". Thus, his full name is "Shutda Door", a little pun. (Think: Shutda door... Shut the door.) My mom gives a speech. Strangely, Asuka didn't give any speeches during the whole thing, even though she was a member of the speech class.

I give a speech, too, in Japanese of course. Something like, "Thank you all for coming. When I met Asuka 5 years ago, I never imagined I'd be standing here today in front of such a magnificent group of friends and family as you. ... Last night, I was nervous as any groom should be. .... My thoughts on marriage .... I think your spouse is the best friend you can ever have since you can tell him/her anything. .... Thank you...." Anyway, it went off pretty well.

With the mistress of ceremonies, who is also the teacher of the speech class.

Just me with the mistress of ceremonies and another guest who I think helped organize.

The whole thing was a remarkable and rare experience. Unfortunately, I only got pictures from one person who was busy during the cake cutting and other processions. I would have liked to put more pictures in here. There will, however, be a DVD video which you can see if you're in Aioi.

The event was also caught in a small blurb in the Kobe Shinbun (major newspaper of Kobe).

After the mock wedding

Afterward, I went to Kobe and met my real-life sweetheart, Akemi. We met her best friend, Masumi, along with her husband and 10-week-old baby. And, we went out for yakiniku (grilled meat), my favorite food according to the wedding storyline anyway. We also went for dessert. Kobe cafes can be really screwy sometimes. We went in and sat down in a small shop for a slice of cake. Tea was ¥600 (≈$6). Cake was ¥475 (≈$4.75). Naturally, I opted for cake only. Who needs overpriced tea, anyway? Well, they wouldn't sell me a slice of cake unless I bought a cup of overpriced tea. How screwy. There were only two other people there. It's not like we were cheap-asses taking up space in a crowded hot spot. So, we left and went somewhere else. I was trying to imagine why some of these shops are so greedy. My guess is that the rent is high and/or they are paying a bunch of money to yakuza (organized crime). Yakuza is big around Kobe and Himeji. Anyway, it sucks for would-be cake eaters.

Alex Quinn's Japan Journal

2/27/2005, Wedding ceremony

A little background

The wedding ceremony

After the mock wedding