Alex Quinn's Japan Journal

4/16/2006, Engaged!

Well, after a year and a half of hemming and hawing about this, I decided to marry Akemi and bring her back to the United States with me.  She had made up her mind a long time ago, so it was really in my hands.  Although I'm not real keen on commitment, I think I'll look back on this as one of the best decisions I've made in my life.  Akemi is really a winner and I love her very much.  Fortunately for me, she loves me, too.  (If gushiness gives you the willies, then stop reading now.  I don't know how to write this page without making it a little syruppy.)

The ring.  A fair number of people around us have gotten married without the engagement ring.  I didn't like the idea of spending 3 months salary on something she might only wear for a few weeks.  So, I got something that I think looks nice, but might not impress her friends so much.

Akemi knew nothing of the ring.  I made up my mind while I was visiting graduate schools in the United States.  When I got back, I let her know very, very subtly.  I just changed my verb tenses.  Instead of, "If we were to get married, then we would need to do this paperwork," (subjunctive mood) I said, "We need to do this paperwork." (affirmative mood).  I guess that's the ultimate in Japanese indirect communication.  She heard the message loud and clear.

She wasn't expecting any ceremony about proposal nor was she expecting an engagement ring.  I simply told her, actually a long time ago, that I wanted to look at cherry blossoms with her on Sunday.  I had this in mind, even before I had made up my mind about marriage.  This was my tentative plan.  We went to Hasedera, a town in Nara prefecture near the border with Mie prefecture.  She had read somewhere that the cherry blossoms were still at or near full bloom there.

Arriving in Hasedera.

Indeed, the cherry blossoms were in fine form.

Looking at cherry blossoms.

After walking around and talking a little about the future and stuff, I proposed to her right here under the cherry tree in the middle of the picture.  It was perfect - nobody in sight, sun shining, cherry blossoms raining down on us, everything a marriage proposal is supposed to be.  She immediately started crying.  As for myself, my eyes might have, um, "sweated" a few drops, too.  (Yeah, I know it's weird to put this in my online journal, but after some thinking and discussion with Akemi, I decided it should be a part of my record of the Japan trip.  Excluding it would be even stranger than including it.)

After standing there for a few minutes and enjoying the moment with her, I started to feel it was time to start walking again.  Just then, an announcement interrupted with a loudspeaker.  It was time.  Just then, we found somebody to take our picture to commemorate the event.

Another picture taken a few minutes after the event.

We spent a while longer just walking around.

Lots of flowers were beautiful.

Enjoying the area around the temple.

Enjoying the area around the temple.

Enjoying the area around the temple.

A poster about Hasedera (in Japanese).

A poster about Hasedera (in English).

On the way back, we stopped and got a rhododendron plant in Hasedera for her parents.  Our hope was that it will flower when we are gone and maybe they will think of us.

This is not the rhododendron.  These are the miniature roses I gave her in the morning before we left.

At the end of the day, we looked down and found ourselves engaged.

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